I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
