Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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