i just google imaged poop.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and she was petting her beer can
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
