so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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