those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
