entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
