So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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