Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
