maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
