what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
