We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
