your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
