Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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