nut hugger
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
