i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
