im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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