Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
