I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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