is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
