I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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