I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
