You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
