He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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