Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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