Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
