he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
