he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
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