he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
