she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
