Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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