I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
