You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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