What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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