Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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