I would go down on you faster than GM stock
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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