Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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