Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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