I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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