..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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