booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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