First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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