No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
These tits shall not be calmed
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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