Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
