Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
