don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
