forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
