Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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