I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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