i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
