There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
