okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
