Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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