I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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