over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
