I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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